New Year, New Start

Alright, I'm going to start over.
I always have all these thoughts in my head that I want to write, and I don't. So this year I'm going to, this year is going to be less makes more.  Less keeping it in, more on the blog.  Less food, more weight loss.  Less spending, more saving, and so on and so on.

Part of this less thing is not buying movies I haven't seen yet, but thought were good.  To that end I have been going to movies, renting movies, and running Netflix like crazy.  Part of that works because R now works overnight and there are times that I don't want to stay in the house and wake him, so I go out to movies.  So far  I've seen We Bought a Zoo, New Year's Eve, A Dangerous Method and The Adventures of Tintin.  All of them very good.

Names

Lately I've been thinking about names, as in baby names.

This is not because I'm expecting a baby.

It's more in the general, I have ovaries, a relationship headed in that direction eventually, and I want to shot gun these particular names before ANYONE in my circle can claim them kind of way.  You know, like the way Monica had the name Emma and Rachel used it. That kind of thing. I'm putting them here because I want to have them recorded somewhere, so no one could say "we'll it's not written down or anything."

Here they are:
Madilee Beatrice
Harrison Liam
Savannah Charlotte
and Austin Clark

That's all I have to say right now. 

Ok Universe, I hear you.

Apparently, I'm deaf.  Or more plausible, I don't like to listen if I don't like what I'm hearing.

I hear you loud and clear universe, and while it BREAKS my Heart. I get it.

It's never going to happen. I'm going to stop talking about it. I'll stop dreaming and planning, and just let it go.

Hello, My name is Katherine...

and I'm a Shopaholic.
There. I said it. Now I can stop shopping.

Let us start by thanking the LOVELY people at Wells Fargo who up-ed my credit limit on my credit card so I can breath a little bit for not being so close to my limit.  Unfortunately, I decided that was a reason to get things I wanted, that it was okay. (read as: bad, bad, bad, bad, BAD)
So before rational me stepped in, jewelry called my name.  To be absolutely specific James Avery called my name like a sterling silver siren's song.

Trying not to care

I sit here thinking about things that have happened recently.  The girl that "broke" up with me is just haunting me.
Not necessarily her, but her actions and the motivation behind them.  Why the sudden break off? Why so abruptly?  Also, what is it with all of a sudden acting like I didn't let her borrow my Bones season 5 (which she has been saying she misplaced when she moved).  I went ahead and replaced the DVD, but it is SO stupid that she is acting that way. 
I think she needs to grow up! So what if someone is negative every once in a while? So what if I yell at Rob every once in a while?  I get frustrated with him, who doesn't get frustrated with their live-in significant other? I'm sorry, but you tend to be the one who is negative.  I say something about Rob and I moving forward with getting married, but you would ask if I was going to fast.  I would remind you that I have been waiting for this since December of 2006 for this to happen, but you would still be apprehensive.  Also, you were the one who would act like my apartment was yours.  You who monopolized my television and XBox 360 playing some ridiculous game so that your boyfriend would like you more.  If you want to play it, go to his place.
Gah! I need to just let these thoughts pass.

Project

I've started a project of watching all of the Blu-Rays I have purchased and not watched, at all.  Not in the theater, not on cable, not at mom and dads.
Yes I buy Blu-Rays of movies I haven't seen, mostly because I wanted to see them but didn't have time/a date (it's sad to go to the movie by yourself, I know. I've done it.).  The stack is rather large, and I've made it through most of it.  I'm going to share my thoughts on each of the movies.  These are in no way full reviews of these movies.  I am an extremely casual watcher, putting it on as back ground noise.  It's something I've done for a long long time.  For example: I watch seasons of shows I have on DVD such as Bones or How I Met Your Mother.
The Movies Include: The Runaways, Despicable Me, Coco Before Chanel, An Education, Remember Me, Life as We Know It, Robin Hood, Paris Je T'aime, New York I Love You, Australia, and the Reader.
We'll start with:
The Runaways: Gritty, Rock and Role.  It's a bit choppy, but the story comes across.  I don't think Dakota Fanning was the best person to take on the leading role.  She seem to doe-y eyed even when she was supposed to be a strung out druggy with an alcohol problem.  Kristen Stewart was great, but so subdued in the role.  She could have been alot stronger, with a lot more input as the character of Joan Jett.  The movie made her seem like this was just ALL happening to them, and they weren't very active in the events.  Yes Sherie walked on stage in lingerie, and let the Japanese Photographers take provacative photos of her. I know the critics were ALL over it, and I can see why.  Personally I give it about 3 stars.
I'm going to see what I can get for it on Amazon.
Despicable Me: Cute kid movie.  Great idea. Love the mother.  Good music.  Forgettable storyline. Bad guy turns good in the end blah blah blah.  What's with the Minions?  N liked it, I'll probably give him the digital copy of it if he doesn't already have it-I got two codes for the download.  2 Stars
I'll probably hang on to it just long enough for N to get a copy.
Coco Before Chanel: Lovely, French. In French.  Probably should watch it again, just to get the details.  I got the gist of it, and the tragedy of it all.  The costumes were delicous and who doesn't love a beautiful period drama. IN FRENCH.  4 1/2 Stars
This one stays
An Education: Lovely British film set in the 60's.  Slightly predicatable: Girl falls for older man, man turns out to be a creep-besides being involved with a teenager.  She picks herself up and returns to Oxford.  The scenes were lovely, the actors was good.  Carey Mulligan is great in the roll of the enginue in the lead.  I wish there was more with the head mistress (Emma Thompson).  The way it was handled was amazing-worthy of the Oscar Nod.  5 Stars
This one stays
Remember Me: A downer of a movie.  No hope at all.  Some bright spots, and Robert Pattinson is always lovely to oggle watch.  The ending just killed me.  The whole movie, from the heart wrenching beginning to every episode till the end, has this sense of depression and fatalism. I'm glad I wasn't paying 100% attention to the movie, or I would have been BAWLING. 4 1/2 stars
This one stays
Life as We Know It: It's a great movie.  Typical chick flick with typical ending.  Yes they got there different than others, and yes they went for the "baby poop on the face joke."  It's a feel good movie, and who doesn't love Katherine Heigl? Plus, the baby is SUPER cute. 3 1/2 stars
I'm pretty sure I'm keeping this one.

I started Robin Hood, but I got about half way through before I paused it.  I'm not sure if I'm going to make it all the way through.  I know the story.  This time it's told differently, but it's just SOOOOO slow.  Maybe tomorrow. I will allso be adding the rest of list in another post.

Off to make dinner: Korma, yum!

My New Love-ah place

Dear Paper Source,
I Love You. I Love you ALOT.
You have introduced to several lovely, lovely things. (Many of which I can get somewhere else cheaper)
Most of these things I can find other places, but the things that I've learned there are things that I never thought I would be into, but oh my goodness, how did I not know about heat embossing till now???

Back at Home

Well after several weeks of not being able to work from home, I am home to work! 
It feels great to be home, and even better today now that it's clean, it feels even better.  Right now I am enjoying all of the Blu-Rays that I have bought and have not watched.  (Some of them, I have never seen before)  I have done some traveling in the interim, but I'll cover that in another post. 
Things have been swirling in my head like crazy, and some, hopefully will come to posts...all I know is that right now, my back is KILLING me from staying up till 3am organizing photos on this laptop.
I just made this a super extended twitter post, damn. 
Alright, so if this is going to be filler, watch for the next posts:
K & N's adventures in the great north of DFW with a side trip to Dublin (I only wish it was Ireland)
On having an open heart and a generous spirit
Religion: Community v Leader (What I think a Pastor should be/do)
A few movie reviews
My new love: Paper Source
Continuing Education Status

I would also like to add that I LOVE that all of my clothes and towels are done-empty hampers with only the clothes I'm wearing dirty.

Proscrastinations and Being Blindsided

So, I have probably 4-5 posts in my head for my other blog, but I want to get down what been in my mind about something that happened to my last week.
First, let me introduce this person, we'll call her B.  She's about a year younger than I am. I met her at "church" my second year in college, and we were roomies on a mission trip to Mexico.  I should have probably distanced myself from her after that trip when she underestimated me going up the mountain, and acted drunk without a drop, but I didn't. She traipsed in and out of my sphere as she pleased, but kept with me after graduation in 2007.  She helped me when I thought my relationship was over, and was afraid for me when big things happened, though she shouldn't have been.  We (R and I) gave her a key to our apartment to take care of Scar the cat.  She would come over, let herself in, and make herself comfortable no matter who she made uncomfortable.  We would defer to her preference when the three of us went out to eat.  I listened to her opinions, her condescension, her whining, what she thought on all subjects, how she felt about her boyfriend, and her insecurities.  I would tell her about what was going on with me, what frustrated me, and some of what I was thinking, but not all.  She would indulge me when I wanted to talk about the wedding, and I would talk about wedding stuff if she brought it up (which she did A LOT).
Well, the last Sunday I had been in Austin and hung out with her.  We talked about meeting up when I got back from visiting my cousin in CC.  Well I texted her the day that I got home 3 times in 5 hours and the last text I got from her was along the lines of "you're too much, I'll drop off your key."  That's it, no explanation, no reason why, just that, in a text.  It's very reminiscent of Berger and the Post-It a la SATC.
Come to find out the next day, she had un-friended me on facebook (something that she didn't even do to her ex-boyfriend), and stopped following me on twitter. She says to "not create drama" which is the exact opposite of what doing that does. 
She gave R lots of reasons why, including, but not limited to:

1. I've become increasingly more negative-even more so in the last year (not true, but if you're only looking for bad things, that's all you're going to hear),
2. I would yell at Rob when she's was there and it made her uncomfortable (hey, I get frustrated, I raise my voice, but I have NEVER full on yelled at R in front of anyone),
3. I would then precede to tell her "what I was going to do to him" when we went out-after I yelled at him in front of her (she would ask how we were and I would express my frustration-this statement also makes it seem like I beat R, which is ABSOLUTELY not true), 
4. I was ALWAYS talking about the wedding.

Let's address number 4:

• I am always scared to DEATH that I talk about the wedding to much, scared to DEATH.  I don't want people to think that's all I think about, because it's not.  I'm over it, I know what I want, it's all in my mind, all decisions that can be made without paying for things have been made, I really have nothing more to say about it.
• B would traipse into my apartment and grab the first magazine on the pile of my mail. More times than not, it was a Brides magazine, which she would sit and look through, and then ask me about things for the wedding. Many times it was things that she liked that I didn't.
• She would also come in and watch what I had on TV--DVRed TLC wedding shows that I had missed during the week because I have complete control of the TV on the weekends with R at work. I would not say anything about my wedding, just if I liked one thing or another.
• She would bring up wedding things out of the blue, not at my prompting.

The worst thing though, out of all of this (well besides the allegations that I beat my fiance), is that I didn't value her opinion and that I would talk at her not to her.  On the at not to-that's the DUMBEST thing I have gotten. This is all in how you listen, and how you want to take things in. I don't talk at people, I abhor people doing that to me, so I don't do it to others.  The "not valuing her opinion" pisses me off the most.  It was because of her opinion that I stopped hanging out with a friend that I had longer than I had been friends with her. Your opinion can be valued, even if a person doesn't agree with you.  I don't like the ideas she had for my wedding (long white dresses for the bridesmaids), I didn't like her "who are these people and why should we care attitude" when it came to the shows I had on TV (it's my TV I can watch what I want), and I would correct her when she got something wrong from tabloids etc. None of these were not valuing her opinion, it was simply having my own opinion.

There are other reasons for her to come up with all of this and convince herself that it's true.  I have a few theories on this, but mostly I think that someone said something to her, and that she's upset she can't do what she wants this summer (including BS camp).  My mother says that it's likely because I wouldn't give her a free weekend at the condo(which is what she would need in order to go because she works M-F), and that I wouldn't plan it for her.  I think that it's a combination of all of it, and the reason she gave R for why she didn't say anything to me about these things before now is because she had just come up with it. 

I just feel hurt by it, completely blindsided by the whole thing.  I feel abandoned, and like I was led on.  This was the girl who had put herself in the position of my Maid of Honor-the girl who I could most rely upon.  She was supposed to help me and be there for me, then she just STOPPED.  I felt like I wasn't worthy of being someone's friend, she made me feel horrible about myself.  I realized something though shortly after that.  She shouldn't have that power, she's not worth giving that power, and that I have great friends around me.  The rest of them might be just as busy as I am, so seeing them is a little harder to schedule, but totally worth it.  I'm so happy that E has taken me back, and I can't say how accomplished I feel when we hang out-something always gets done, and she respects my opinion and understands that on many things I have my own, but disagreeing is NOT disrespecting, or disregarding.

I wish her peace and some kind of happiness, but I don't think that she and I will be friends again. I have my friends, and she'll find more, but not by burning bridges.

Good Night world, I love you!

New Look New Name

I've been thinking about it, and while the idea of having a 101 list in 1001 days sounds like a great basis for a blog, it seems rather constricting.  With that in mind, I have changed the name of the blog and the look. I think it is a calmer look, cleaner color scheme, and opens itself up to more diverse blogging. 

I'm trying to be a better blogger, but being a child that never journaled, nor a person who ever felt that the world needed to know, I am trying to adjust to it.  There are lots of things floating around in my head that I want to put down, but I need to MAKE the time to do it.  More coming soon.

Life: Late Night Blogging work

Okay, so it's nearly 1am.
I'm still awake.
This is not good.
You see I now have more blogs than I ever imagined  I'd have. Simply because I hardly make the time to write down what's bouncing around in my head.  Now I have a blog that will tie in with my condo's website, one that I'm hyjacking and restarting that I will share with Rob, along with this blog, my weight loss blog, and the wedding blog. I'm up because I have internet access and time to play around with them, so I did. 
When I get back to Austin, I will be playing around with style boards for home, wedding, baby, etc. Those, unfortunately, are in Austin on my desktop.  I am currently borrowing a laptop from my brother, and do not want to put those on here.  Mostly because it would require me downloading Picasa, and re-finding and re-downloading all of the pictures I had downloaded. 
So the plan will be to prep text to go with the pictures and save them till I can merge the two together.
Alright, time to try to go to bed, more posts soon. Promise.

The List is out the window, gone to pot, I'm over it.

Alright, so I was looking over the list and pondering it. Some of the things on there are just not really feasible for me within the allotted time frame, and some are, well, just frivolous. So I've decided to turn this thing upside down.
I will still do 101 things.
I still only have till the date I've set to do said things.
I will not be working from the list.
I will simply hold myself to doing 101 things that are remarkable to me and letting them out into the blogosphere. 
That means I will be building a list instead of knocking it down.
I honestly feel it makes for a better more organic flow, and I'm not going to beat myself up if I don't get to Disneyland and ride a hot air balloon. Also, I don't have to say read 5 books that I haven't read, I can just READ, and I can continue to share things that make me happy, but I don't have to make sure the number gets to/stops at 100.

Remarkable? Probably not.
Freeing? Boy Howdy, you know it is!

Life: Please let that light not be a train!

My mom replied to an email from the pastor with the following "There's a light at the end of the tunnel, but I'm still not sure it's not a train."
This is how the weekend has been for her (and partly for me, though mine is a lot less intense being step one of three).  I am writing this at 9:45pm on a Sunday from my desk. Yes, I'm at work on a weekend, yes it's almost 10pm, and yes I'll probably not go to bed for a LONG time. Tomorrow is deadline day, and by putting in time today we have a chance of being out before midnight.
Bed will not be something I go to for a long while because I am wound up at the promise of getting to go HOME finally my bed with my baby and my cat. I'm way excited! The next two weeks promise: a hair cut, mani/pedi, lots of girl time, going to the movies, and a baseball game.  An example of what this is doing to me: I decided that 2:15am was the BEST time to organize and do 95% of my packing last night.  I spent the ensuing 45 minute packing up my clothes, planning outfits, and figuring out what was the absolute MINIMUM of things I could leave out to get through till Tuesday.  It was madness.
Tonight, I'm cleaning out my car. I need to. There is no way for me to justify it tomorrow with every one else working (I have to look busy). I'm going to get to it.
Has excitement ever made you do crazy things?

Work: I can see my desk!

I have a desk!
It's a pretty blonde wood color, I have a rather plain black and white desk calendar which tells me that I have 2 things due next Wednesday besides the HUGE deadline Friday. 
This desk calendar also tells me that my condo bills have been paid, I have 64hrs total this week, I get to go home on the 19th, and that Sunday starts Holy Week.
It's amazing what I write down when I get to see that sucker.
I share all this because I have only ONE Tax Return left to put it. One lonely little tax return with a purple folder.  Sure there are more on the back table, but they're HUGE and honestly I'm pretty stocked right now that I've gotten this far.  If I were the worst employee EVER I would toy with the idea of scooting on home to Austin right now (the thought has been teasing me) but I've already went and made a lunch date for tomorrow, scheduled a workout session for Sunday, and have made a breakfast plan for the next 3 days. So looks like no freedom for me till Tuesday. That does well for my wallet(need to earn that bonus), but my sanity is starting to slowly wander away.

Life: Worst Blogger ever!

Alright,
So as you may or may not have noticed, I have removed the list from the blog. I didn't do this on purpose, I honestly did it to edit and repost.  The thing is I cut it, and NEVER pasted it somewhere. So now it's gone!
Now this could really do one of two things: give me an opportunity to revamp and put up a completely different list (including what has been accomplished) or scrap the list all together and proceed aimlessly where my brain decides to go(not that I don't already do that). I honestly think that in the interest of having writing prompts I should revamp the list.
I like having goals, I like sharing the story of how those goals are met.  The problem with the old list: I assumed (1)I had more "in real life" friends than I have, (2)I would have more money coming in than I have, not that I'm hurting at all, and (3) that Robert is more cooperative than he is IRL.  I love Rob I do, but getting him even a fraction of a millimeter outside of his comfort zone is honestly like pulling back teeth from a crocodile.  It's like asking to have your head bitten off. I am not detered though, and he's game if I catch him at the right moment (and utter the word "my treat"-the miser). 
So look for it soon, the new and kind of amazing list. :)
Alright, I need to stop procrastinating...I'm earning overtime right now, Sunday at the office, I HATE APRIL!

Gifts: I know what I'm giving people for Christmas!

Life: Loosing the Battle of the Bulge

It's amazing how detrimental stepping on the scale everyday can be to one's psyche.  It hits you hard when the scale goes up, and the disappointment is still there when the number goes down.  For some reason I'm staying around the same number on the scale, no matter what I do.  It really is frustrating.  I know my problems.  I'm actually SUPER AWESOME at identifying them (not counting Friday even-Sunday, portion sizes, not enough fruit, veggies, or dairy, etc. etc.) but I'm CRAP at changing habits to fix the problems.
There's always an excuse.  I need to give up excuses.  I went under the blasted 272 on Friday (woohoo 270!) but was back up this morning.  So new vow: ONLY step on the scale Friday morning and evaluate from there.  No one said getting down into the healthy range for my height was going to be easy, but I wish it was going FASTER!

The List: 46 #3 Deja Dead



Book number 3 of 5 for this task.



Life: Feeling Old

Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's the time of month, or maybe I'm old, but I was exhausted yesterday! I slept right through my workout!
What really makes me feel old is that I bought my first anti-aging product yesterday.
This is it:

For the bags under my eyes...I'm trying to put the spin on it as "it's prevention, you don't really need it!"  Then I look in the mirror...no I need it. Oh geeze.
Alright off to dinner then the gym...so much fun!

Life: Fan Girl Swoon

For those in the know, Disney started this new thing with it's Princess Diamond Edition releases for movies. (Rereleasing on Blu-Ray and for new Princesses) This is Limited Edition dolls of the Princesses. I have all of the ones they've come out with so far, including Buzz and Woody, so today when I got an email from The Disney Store I ordered myself a little birthday present:



Isn't she pretty???


I'm so excited, you have no idea! Now I'm debating on if I should just save up and pay from it out of my paycheck and use my birthday money for something else fun, or if I should just use the money for her.

Here's the other thing I have in mind:


This is so fun!

 Le sigh...now I try to convince Rob to buy me things (aren't boyfriends supposed to buy you presents???) but he doesn't see the point in purchasing ANYTHING that he cannot derive benefit from (i.e. if he can't watch it or use it as well, he whines moans and complains about it).  I can't even convince him that his benefit is because I'm happy and a happy wife(girlfriend) equals a happy life.  Merg.
Oh well, I just need to buckle down and be frugal...once I get these damn credit cards paid down to where they're more managable, I thinks that will get better, I just have to bunker down and close the wallet.